I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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