Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
