Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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