Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
