If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
