u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
