if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
