she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
