she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
