I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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