go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I skipped work to stalk him.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
