So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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