We got so high we made milksteak
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
