As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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