his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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