I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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