i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
