Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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