Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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