Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
