the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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