Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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