dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
