2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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