Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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