Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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