she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
