i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
