But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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