well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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