Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you win again, gameday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
