Say something about gay babies.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
