What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
