The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i think im in europe. pls send help
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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