I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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