omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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