Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
