susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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