At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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