We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
