i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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