He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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