I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
