i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
