I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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