it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
