I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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