Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
