It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He felt like a one man threesome
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
