I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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