I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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