she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
