he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
