btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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