I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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